It was December 2019. I was sitting in my car after a workout – my mind relaxed just enough for a moment of clarity. Work had been hard for too long. Two years of constant firefighting, shapeshifting and plugging holes in a dam that felt one crack away from bursting. And now, a team of new leaders, more heavy problems–a flock of Black Swans dive bombing each day. I prided myself as a problem solver—there was always a way. Until there wasn’t.
Then our CEO told me that he was moving on to another opportunity in another state. There might be space for me, sometime in the future. But nothing was firm. When things settle…maybe. He was my last anchor to a more stable time—a leader I knew and trusted to buoy rough waters. Gone.
After he left, each day felt heavier. “The work is hard enough,” I’d think, “now I don’t fit here.” The chess board had been tossed in the air, the pieces landed differently — and I wasn’t sure I was still on the board.
In my car that morning, a single thought appeared: I don’t want to do this anymore.
Instead of panicking, I felt relief. A deep exhale I didn’t know I was holding.
I found a scrap of paper in the glove compartment. And like I had done so many times before in life, I wrote down what I wanted.
The Power of Naming What you Want
I have been writing goals since I was 13, when I attended summer at Camp Miniwanca in Stony Lake, Michigan. In many ways, Miniwanca is a typical sleepaway camp with crafts, songs and sailing, but it also focuses on developing kids as leaders—something I sorely needed as an awkward 7thgrader. Before the end of camp, counselors met with each camper to talk about our experience that summer. They had us write ourselves a postcard with 4 goals – ways we’d carry the “magic” of summer camp and back to “real life” at home. The camp would mail us the postcards in December so we could measure our progress. I don’t remember what my goals were that first summer, but I was hooked on the practice of setting them.
Each year, I take the time to reflect on where I am in my life: what I want to learn, how I want to grow and how I can contribute. In that car in December 2019, the list came easily. I was clear about what I wanted and didn’t want anymore.
Nearly two weeks later, on New Years Day in 2020, I was on a beach walk in Cambria, California with my husband talking about that list. The air was cool, the sand packed firm and the sky was clear at dusk. I mentioned how much I loved the area. “I’d love to live up here,” I said, “but there are no jobs. Unless Cottage Health ever called me.”
Fast forward to February of 2020—before COVID changed everything — a recruiter’s announcement landed in my inbox:
We’re leading a search for the first General Counsel of Cottage Health in Santa Barbara.
Was it magic? Maybe. But here’s the real point: without clear intentions — without a goal —an unsolicited recruiter’s email wouldn’t have caught my attention. And I may not have answered because I wouldn’t have known that I wanted it. Without intention, opportunity is just noise.
This is what I call calling your pitch.
Decide what you want, as specifically as possible, and work backwards. Not wishing. Not hoping someone notices you. Name your goal so precisely that when the right opportunity presents itself, you recognize it.
There is much more to the story about how I landed a GC job in a place people refer to as “paradise,” but it started with knowing what I wanted and why.
Lawyers Often Get Stuck on the Wrong Ladder
As lawyers, the career ladder can seem pre-loaded. We’re conditioned from the first year of law school to follow the script:
- On-campus interviews à summer associate gig
- Summer associate gig à full time offer
- Bill hours
- Make partner (or burn out trying)
- Go in-house
- Do more work than the law firm you’ve hired, but make less $$$ because you have a “lifestyle job”
- Figure out how to get promoted
- Start leading teams/managing people (even though you hate leading teams/managing people)
- Wish/hope that the General Counsel retires/gets another job so you can slot into that role and make “real money”
- Get the GC role — and realize that you had no idea what the job actually was (and you’re not sure you like it)
We move rung by rung, expecting to be satisfied and happy once we’ve “made it.” But that feeling never seems to come. There’s always something next…or maybe there’s something missing. Maybe you never wanted to get on the ladder in the first place, but you got on because that’s what everyone else was doing.
The truth is, most of the rungs on the ladder don’t bring nirvana –it’s just more of the same with a little more money and lots more stress.
Often, it’s not even what we want. It’s what we think we’re supposed to want.
But you don’t have to climb a ladder you never choose. You can spend your life any way that you want, but you can only spend it once. Intentionality is crucial.
A Practical Exercise
So this year, take out a clean sheet of paper. Maybe it’s in your car after a workout, or on a walk with someone you trust.
Pause. Exhale deeply and ask yourself:
1. What do I want?
2. Why do I want it?
Write everything down without judging it. Then reflect. What made the list and why? What didn’t? Which goals are truly yours and which ones belong to someone else?
Clarity is not about certainty; it’s about direction.
What’s Next
This year, I’m sharing a series of The Legal Department podcast called TLD Goal Getter designed to help you decide which ladder you want to be on and how to climb it. This Substack newsletter is a companion to the series, offering tools, materials and reflections to help you move forward with purpose.
Goals are the key. If you don’t know where you’re going, you won’t know how to get there.
And if you never call your pitch, you may miss the moment when it’s finally thrown your way.
